Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
