did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
