No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Congratulations! We have a period
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
