if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
