His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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