I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
