You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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