Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
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I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
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Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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