Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
