Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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