To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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