She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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