youre lurking in front of me
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
