i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
