Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
