Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
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I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
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also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.