I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
