I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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