she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
