I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
