So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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