I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
