just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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