my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
