honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
