It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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