you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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