He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
