So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
