I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
