so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
