she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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