If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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