I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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