When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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