Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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