problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just cropdusted the office
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
