8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I need a beard to bite.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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