Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
