we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
