I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
