$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
