I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
