quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
