bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
