If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
