I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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