Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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