You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just pynch a tree in the face
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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