your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
