Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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