Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She's the barista slut.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
