Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
