some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
