I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
