I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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