Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So much rum. So many feels.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
