someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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