We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Someone signed my nipple.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
