He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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