Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think I won the penis lottery.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
